Now more than ever, we should strive for deeper friendships. Let’s face it, friendship is life’s bread and butter. Our ability as humans to connect with one another is how we as people derive meaning in the short and sweet time we are allotted here on Earth. Also, it is quality not quantity that matters most. When it all boils down, no one cares about how many likes you get on social media. If you can’t call someone to drive you to the airport or invite on a whim for a much needed outing, then what is the point?
In-order to surround yourself with good friends, you have to first be a good friend. Humans are social creatures; it is easy to deepen our existing friendships. Think of your friendship like any relationship that requires thought and consideration. Nurture your friendships like you would a potted plant. Make sure you give it care, love, and when you can a bit of sunshine.
Below are 9 things to do if you want your friendship to get deeper.
1. Pick-up the Phone
It is the simplest thing to do to deepen a friendship: pick-up the phone. We all live busy lives. Surprisingly, many of us can relate to feeling alone and isolated despite the constant stimuli and interaction with each other via social media. A positive text can go along way. Consider sending your friend a quick in inside joke or a shared reference. It will let the other person know that you value your friendship and that they are still in their orbit. If you know that they might need some encouragement, send them a positive message. A you got this (smiley face emoji)! Can make a world of difference.
Finally, give them a call! Take the time if you cannot catch-up in person to just phone them. You will get the chance to see what’s new in their lives and a chance to learn a bit more about each other, which you can’t do through social media/ texts (sorry Gen Z).
2. Do Something They like to Do
One of the greatest things about friendships is that they take you out of your comfort zone and open you to new ideas. You may not be a physically active person, you might prefer activities like reading and cooking. Perhaps, your friend loves to play soccer. Consider going to the park. They can teach you some soccer techniques and then after you guys can have a picnic in the park. With any relationship, the key to deepen your friendship is compromise.
It can be fun to begin new activities and traditions together. You could binge a new show together or start a book club. It is important to learn the other person’s passions; it will help to deepen the friendship. Find out what music they like. You guys can swap interests. It will only in the end make you a more well-rounded individual.
Have a girl’s movie night. Read 21 Best Female Comedy Movies to Watch if You Need a Good Laugh.
3. Be a Good Listener
It is easier said than done. It is vital in the friendship to be a good listener. Give the person a safe space to vent and share. It is okay to be silent. And when there is a lull, ask thoughtful questions or offer your thoughts. Part of being a good friend is being honest. Sometimes you need to administer tough love if you see your friend making ill or impaired decisions. Always be compassionate and exercise empathy. You never fully know what someone else is going through.
4. Do Something Unexpected
You can show you value your friendship by doing something unexpected. Perhaps, your friend is moving. Offer to help them pack boxes or shop for new furniture. You can deepen your friendship with the little things. Maybe you have a coworker who is also a friend. When you meet for lunch, do something unexpected like pick-up their lunch or share yours. It’s fun to gift your time and generosity, but you can also physically gift things to your friend. Get creative. Maybe make something they would appreciate it like a card or pottery from that weekly pottery class.
5. Take a Trip
To deepen your friendship, get out of town! Look for cheap flights to fun destinations or take a simple weekend road trip. The important thing to remember is to build memories together. Check-out the Blonde Abroad for great ideas for your next friend vacation.
6. Show Up
It is important to show up for one another. Life milestones can matter. Be present for birthdays, promotions, and big life events. If you friend runs their first 5K, maybe be there at the finish line cheering ready to offer bottled water. It’s not rocket science after all.
7. Have Deep and Meaningful Conversations
We don’t do this as much anymore, but have sprawling conversations with each other. Ask each other what scares the other or motivates them. Don’t be afraid to ask each other the hard questions about religion, politics, or whatever. It will only deepen your friendship if you know that you can talk to the other persons about anything and EVERYTHING. Also, conspiracy theories can be fun. Do you believe in aliens?
8. Do Something Physical Together
Get physical! Go for a walk together or drag your friend to that Zumba class you have been meaning to try. You can go for dinner and drinks after, and it’s something you can enjoy together.
9. Make a Bucket-List
Finally, make a bucket list. Write out a list of goals or things to do with your friend for the future. You can save it in your notes section of your phone. The point is to make plans for the future.