We live in a progressive society, but sexual education leaves much to be desired. The term “frigidity” continues to raise many questions, concerns and sounds like an offensive statement. After all, none of the modern women wants to hear, “You are frigid!” from their sexual partner. While some women, on the contrary, cannot stop surfing the internet for the diagnosis based on the test in a glossy magazine. So, they turn to sexologists or psychologists with the request for help. However, how can you understand what is frigidity and what is not?
Let’s get the essence
To get to the bottom, it is necessary to deal with the concept and answer the question, “What is frigidity?” According to the International Classification of Diseases, “Frigidity is the absence or loss of sexual desire.” However, not so long ago, indifference on the part of women was perceived as normal female behavior. Conversely, any sexual desire of a woman and masturbation were considered signs of illness, so doctors were involved in its treatment. Such “lascivious” ladies got a set of procedures, for example, applying leeches to the genitals, rejection of comfortable pillows and silk (too sensual), rejection of dancing and reading romance novels, cauterization of the urethra and other useless or violent methods.
Truth about frigidity
The frequent absence of orgasm in women was first seriously noticed by the Austrian psychologist, a student of Freud, Alfred Adler. According to his research, conducted back in 1913, 80 percent of women remained dissatisfied after sexual intercourse. The scientist explained this by a natural lack of sexual sensitivity, understanding frigidity as “a woman’s inattention to herself,” and as “a woman’s inattention to a man through herself.”
Society liked the new term about female temperament and sexual behavior and started using it at any opportunity. So, it is not surprising that they complemented its meaning with various ideas and myths. As a result, now you can find statements that a frigid woman is one who does not like sex or one who cannot experience an orgasm. Sometimes, it happens that a woman is considered frigid if she does not want to have sex a specific number of times per week (just any number) or visit services like the one from this snapsext review. She can also get such a “status” if she does not want to please her partner or cannot get excited quickly. There are many various options. So, what is frigidity in the modern world? Is it a sexual stereotype or a real problem?
Women don’t know their bodies
As already mentioned, the level of sexual education in both sexes leaves much to be desired. Thus, ignorance and misunderstanding of the anatomy of the female reproductive system have led to the appearance of numerous myths about the female orgasm. And the first reason that can make a woman suffer from complexes or seek help is a banal lack of knowledge of her body, erogenous zones, erotic fantasies, or just a lack of sexual experience. Indeed, even though the modern world is so progressive and tolerant, you can run into many women who neither know their bodies nor try to explore them. Such women will hardly read an erotic romance, not to mention watching porn and masturbating.
The second reason is more complicated. It is about cultural attitudes and stereotypes. “Marry first, and love will come afterward,” “Business before pleasure,” “Family and children must always come first for a woman.” Moreover, many women continue to believe that sex is something unimportant, and they should focus more on other things. That is, everyone knows that adults have sex, but few people realize that they should find time for it and make efforts to get pleasure and complete satisfaction.
Religion also influences a woman’s passion, her ability to be active in sexual life with a partner, and the right to implement her “dirty” fantasies. After all, if she has sex with a partner not with a purpose to get pregnant, she may perceive the very process as something sinful and forbidden.
Unsatisfied basic needs
We have finally reached the third reason that is commonplace. If a woman does all the household chores, works and doesn’t have time for herself, she may not meet her basic needs. She does not get enough sleep; she suffers from anxiety, fusses and rushes somewhere. Such a lifestyle and pressure don’t allow her to relax and enjoy sexual intercourse. Thus, it would be useful to slow down a bit, make a bubble bath, read an interesting book and turn off the restless mind.
Lack of trust
The next possible reason can be connected with the inability to build close and trusting relationships with a partner. To build a healthy and happy relationship, both partners should be able to talk about their erotic fantasies, discuss anxiety, feel closeness, trust, understanding and desire for deeper experiences with each other. If a woman cannot trust her partner for a reason, she should get the essence of this issue and cope with it. Otherwise, their sexual relations will hardly work out and bring satisfaction.
Fixation on adult films
The fifth reason is surely known to many, and it sounds like a desire to be like a porn actress. It would be easy to say that there is no need to repeat porn films, but let’s sort things out first. Yes, you can watch porn, listen to the response of your body and turn on your fantasy. There is nothing wrong about it, and such an experience can be even useful. However, you shouldn’t mindlessly repeat all the movements, actions and words of a porn actress. To experience arousal, a woman should know and feel what things excite her.
The connection between body and desire
It is worth remembering that a woman’s libido is connected with the quality of relations with herself, her partner, her role in society, a feeling of comfort, security, and satisfaction.
And it is also necessary to separate a woman’s emotional and physical satisfaction. In most cases, a woman perceives sex as emotional interaction. Thus, for example, if there is no foreplay or flirting, a woman may be bored. She may even feel an orgasm, but there are not enough emotions, so she still feels dissatisfaction. Foreplay is an integral part of sexual intercourse.
Psychological and physical issues
There are also psychological reasons for frigidity. For example, if a woman was raped or experienced psychological trauma, she may suffer from a fixation on the expectation of pain. The woman understands that the partner is beloved and never hurts her, but her brain continues to repeat the scenes of the past traumatic situation. In such a case, it is worth turning to a qualified psychologist to deal with the issue.
Also, frigidity can appear due to various disorders of the endocrine system, drug addiction, gynecological diseases, dysfunction of the genital organs, and others. In this case, it is also worth contacting a specialist. However, there is a small percentage of such cases. Usually, all women who do not experience orgasm are called frigid. Nonetheless, every woman can get satisfaction from her sexual life if she learns what things can bring her pleasure.