It’s easy to recall the best sexting experience you’ve ever had because it stands out from all the times it was just “meh.” But have you ever thought about what made that sexting so special? Why was it better than the rest? Knowing what separates mind-blowing sexting from boring sexting will make it easier to recreate in the future. Plus, it will give you insight into what your turn-ons and turn-offs are so that you can have more of the former and fewer of the latter.
What Makes A Sexting Experience Good—And Bad
Having amazing sex is an entirely personal experience. What you enjoyed the most will be different from your best friend and even your partner. But some basics are always present: you need to have consent, and you need to have enough of a connection that you feel comfortable enough to let loose and get wild together.
Conversely, people typically can agree on what makes for a bad sexting experience. If you accidentally text your mom something explicit, that will definitely destroy the mood. But other factors come into play, too. If you send someone a sext and they don’t respond for an uncomfortable amount of time, you might start feeling insecure or regret what you sent. Timing is a crucial part of having a mind-blowing sexting experience.
Further, if your sexting partner is set on a fantasy that you don’t care for, you’ll probably be bored or resentful. And if you’re doing the same thing you always do, you can be sure the experience won’t be memorable.
Know What You Like—But Don’t Get Too Comfortable
Think about your favorite sexual memories. Do they have a common theme? The themes aren’t usually as obvious as they seem. They don’t tend to be as narrow as porn categories might have you think.
Often, what gets someone hotter than anything is a feeling or an idea. Perhaps you need to feel a sense of adventure, or maybe you like to be pampered. If you can pick up on what feelings you seek—other than the obvious ones like desire and excitement—you’ll know how to shape your sexting fantasies so that you can have mind-blowing sexting experiences regularly.
However, you shouldn’t stop at simply knowing what you like. If you become too reliant on a specific fantasy, you can pigeonhole yourself into a life of sexual routine. That’s why it’s important to understand the themes in your sexual fantasies: it’s not just a threesome that you find hot; it could be the fact that you’re doing something a little bit taboo. Instead of solely role-playing threesomes during sexting, you can incorporate other elements of the taboo (perhaps a BDSM or a sex-in-public fantasy) and see what feels right.
If you stick to one idea that always gets you off quickly, you are only experiencing a fraction of the sexual energy and creative potential you have inside. So, don’t be afraid to experiment. Having new experiences is one of the cornerstones of best-sex-ever experiences.
Sometimes It’s the Visuals
A good sexting experience is often peppered with visuals, too. Maybe you send a nude or a quick and sexy video. These typically enhance arousal unless, of course, they aren’t well-executed. Sloppy nudes and awkward videos can certainly take you out of the mood. You want to send something that’s sexy, and you want to pace what you send. That means you shouldn’t start by sending a completely naked, spreadeagle pose. Begin with something provocative but not explicit and move on from there. This professional sexting host talks about how to frame your nudes so that you look as sexy as possible:
Practice Makes Perfect
To truly create an amazing sexting experience, you need to know how to vibe with your partner. You also need to know how to express yourself vividly—so you can make your partner feel what you’re feeling. And, the easiest way to get really good at sexting is to practice.
If you don’t know someone you want to sext with, you can find someone online. The most important thing is to use a site that will keep your information private and verify everyone’s ages so that you don’t accidentally end up sexting with a minor. Before you know it, you’ll be having mind-blowing sexting experiences all the time!