We all know of the fairytales that end in happily ever after, but what they don’t show us is what happens after the knight saves the princess? We are forced to believe that happily ever after lasts forever, but let’s be real; The honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever. The honeymoon period usually lasts between six months and a year. So what do you do after that phase is over?
NYGal is here to give you all the deets on what to do post-honeymoon phase.
Have “The Talk”
By this, we mean that you need to re-evaluate the relationship. Sit down and talk to your boo about where you want the relationship to go. When you realize that the honeymoon stage has worn off, are you willing to stay in the relationship? If you don’t know if your relationship has passed the honeymoon phase, ask yourself a few questions. Do you still have sex every day? Does bae still text you first thing in the morning? Do you still go on dates frequently?
If the answer is no to all of these questions, chances are the honeymoon stage is over. Talk to your S.O. about this and ask if they still want to continue the relationship. Some people need the flame to keep burning to continue being with someone, and that’s okay; but if you two have different plans for the future, this may be a problem. Find out what you both want in the relationship and take it from there.
Please note that this option is mostly just for people in relationships, not marriage. It’s easier to end a relationship because of differences. If you’re getting married, you should have the talk before you say “I do.” Marriage requires commitment and working through your challenges.
Try To Keep Consistency
As stated before, marriage requires total commitment. This means that you should try to keep some kind of consistency in your marriage. During the post-honeymoon phase, marriage goes through changes. You stop showering together. You begin to notice everything that annoys you about your partner, and sex diminishes a bit. These are all normal, and it doesn’t mean that your marriage is doomed.
You just have to try to keep doing things you used to do. If you used to tell your partner you love them each night before bed, keep doing it. Establish a schedule for dates, and try to honor them. Consistency is key to all good relationships.
Adjust Your Expectations
Sometimes we expect too much from our S.O. We expect them to always be on time, bring flowers every day, and never make mistakes. Realistically though, we are all human. No one is perfect, so don’t expect them to be. If your boo is running late to dinner, don’t bite his head off. Relationship expert, Eli Finkel, suggests asking less of your marriage. In his marriage advice, he suggests investing in some relationships other than your marriage. Rely on others, not just your spouse, to meet some of your needs. If he hates romance movies, ask one of your girlfriends to go watch that new movie with you. Don’t expect your partner to be into everything you’re into.
Spice Things Up In The Bedroom
During the honeymoon phase, the relationship is full of lots of hot sex. The post-honeymoon stage is a little different. You get comfortable with quickies and the missionary position. Some women in this stage have sex because they feel they have to, not because they want to. You can change this. Add something new to the bedroom. Try romantic BDSM to spice things up. A little rough sex will definitely wake you both up.
Visit a sex shop for some hot toys and books. This will help you find new positions to try. Missionary is good and all, but reverse cowgirl is way more fun. Discover what makes you climax while making your partner happy too.
Just because the honeymoon period is over, doesn’t mean your relationship is.