Have you ever found yourself browsing through porn videos and finding something totally nasty, but being 100 percent turned on? Obviously, you were horny, so you got off to it, but then I’m sure you felt absolutely disgusted by yourself. Trust me, you’re not alone.
Who we are in the bedroom is not who we are in public. Not everyone is willing to admit that sexual taboos turn them on, but NYgal is here to tell you that it’s ok to want to get down and dirty in the freakiest ways because there is psychological reasoning backing it up!
What Determines What Turns Us On?
What turns us on is made up a few different factors:
- Your genetic makeupaffects your sex drive. According to a study done by the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, there is a strong correlation between variants in the D4 receptor gene. This suggests that a low sex drive is a normal biological condition- not a psychological complication.
- The instinctual factorreflects Freud’s theory of psychosexual development which states that we’re all born with a sexual libido that is broken down into five stages: Oral, anal, phallic, latency, and genital. According to his theory, if we didn’t get enough stimulation as a child from one of these stages, we could remain stuck in a stage forever. Therefore, that stage would control our future sexual desires.
- The last factor to consider, which is closely related to Freud’s theory, is of our individual childhood upbringings. Studies show that people that grew up in a loving permissive environment may mirror that in their love-making and relationships. While People that grew up in more evasive environments where sex was not discussed will mirror that into theirs.
What Are Sexual Taboos?
The list of taboos in our society is long and exhausting. A taboo is defined as an implicit exclusion of something based on a cultural sense in a society that is excessively repulsive or too sacred for the average person.
Some of the most common taboos are…
- Anal Sex
- Filming Sexual Acts
- Group Sex
- A Big Age Gap Between Two Partners
- Rape Fantasies
- Sex in Public
- Sex with a Stranger
Why Do Taboos Turn Us On?
Taboos are a person’s way of acting in a way they would not normally act in society. It’s a way to ‘let go’ and do something socially unacceptable. The rebellious mindset behind this reflects the feelings we embraced as teenagers by sneaking out of the house, going to parties, and meeting up with partners unchaperoned. Performing acts that aren’t rule-abiding never goes out of style. No matter how old you get, it still excites us.
In addition to that, the topic of childhood once again comes to the forefront when discussing the psychological reasoning behind our desire to participate in sexual taboos. If a person was perhaps spanked as a child for punishment, they may enjoy being spanked as a sexual act. This is because it’s a comfort, or maybe it was their first physical encounter with the opposite sex.
On a verbal level, similarly, the use of the word, “Daddy” paints a familiar picture when included in sexual acts. Mirroring a parent/child relationship, having control over your partner or having control taken away is one of the most common taboo acts, which can quickly dip into some serious BDSM.
Another factor to discuss is experience in previous sexual relationships. There is a condition called relationship PTSD and it is extremely common. Relationship PTSD not only can build an emotional wall for future relationships, but it can also determine what you enjoy sexually.
For example, if a person was abused physically in a previous relationship, going forward, they may feel very comfortable being the submissive subject in a BDSM relationship. This could also have the opposite effect on the person and have them become extremely dominant in the bedroom. Either way, they may be comfortable getting a little rough, as a result of former abusive experiences.
What NYgal Thinks About All This…
Here, at NYgal, we think you should keep doing you. What feels good (as long as it’s legal) is what you should be doing. Sexual pleasure is our greatest natural gift and our V should not be wasted on unsatisfactory sex. So, live it up, NYgal and find out what makes you feel good, even if you choose to keep it hush-hush.