Love, we all crave it. Whether you are single or in a committed relationship there are always bumps in the road. While many people turn to their friends and loved ones for advice, it’s also nice to get some feedback from strangers on the internet. After all, people in your life are inhibited by their own personal biases about you and your relationships. Reddit relationship advice is a chaotic mishmash to delve into. Much like life, dating advice online is a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get.
But we still need the advice of strangers, whether you want to validate your own ideas or to think of something you hadn’t considered. Reddit can be your best friend and your worst enemy for dating advice. So if you are struggling to straighten out the good advice from the bad, we got your back. These are the dos and don’ts of relationship advice.
Do Wait for Someone to Notice You
Despite how this post is targeted, this advice applies to people of all genders. If someone isn’t over the moon to spend time with you, then they are not worth it. Don’t waste your time trying to make someone love you, or waiting for them to see how great you are. It’s easy to get hung up on your crush and daydreaming about them falling in love with you. But if they aren’t having those same daydreams, they aren’t worth it. If the person you like doesn’t like you back, just walk away.
Don’t Feel Like You Can’t Make the First Move
Women can absolutely make the first move. It is a mistake for women to feel that they have to wait around for the other person to ask them out. Women are conditioned from a young age to feel like they need to be wood, but women can totally do the wooing. Asking someone out shows that you are confident and you know what you want. What could be sexier than that? Also, this advice completely excludes most queer women. If two women like each other and neither asks the other one out, then nothing will happen. If you are a woman, or any other gender excluding cis male, you can and should ask your crush out.
Do Leave People Who are Sending Mixed Signals
This is similar to our first piece of good advice, but important to repeat. If you don’t know how they feel, it’s a know. Don’t wait around for them to make up their mind. You don’t deserve to be someone’s second choice. It can be hard when you still feel like there is a bit of hope, thinking “maybe they do like me.” But if it’s only a maybe, it’s a no. Don’t waste your time with people who don’t think you’re the most amazing person in the world.
Don’t Feel Like You Have to Know Right Away
Sorry but love at first sight isn’t real. When you see that absolutely chiseled man looking at you from across the bar, you’re not in love, you’re in lust. It is so easy to feel infatuated when meeting someone new. Using relationships that worked from the very beginning as evidence of love at first site is only confirmation bias. Love at first site is a beautiful idea that makes us feel like we are in a fairytale. But real love comes from years of commitment and working together. You might meet someone who you feel instantly attracted to and end up spending the rest of your life with. But the real love doesn’t come at the beginning, it comes over the course of a lifetime.
Do Get Someone Who Treats You Right
Anyone who was obsessed with Stephen Chbosky’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower in high school will remember the phrase “We accept the love we think we deserve.” This Reddit relationship advice captures the meaning of that quote. We let people into our lives and accept their treatment of us depending on how we feel about ourselves. Many people spend their lives building up walls, and it can be easier to stay with someone who never tries to break them down. Everyone is deserving of love and companionship. We all deserve a partner who treats us well.
Note that this idea oversimplified the complexities of domestic violence and should not be used as validation in cases of abuse.
Don’t Take Middle School Advice
Many of us grew up on the American Girl books; they led our way through middle school. But when you take a look back at some of the advice, you’ll see more than a few issues. It’s not that the advice is bad, just incredibly ridiculous. Are Vikings an interesting conversation topic? Yes. Should you start a conversation with “I wish they’d teach us more about Vikings”? Probably not. Conversation starters can be difficult, but definitely don’t pick any random one. Talk about something you’re interested in, or something you think they might like. Even if you want to talk about Vikings, don’t make this your starter.
Do Find Someone Who Loves What You Love
Stuffed animals are life long friends and they deserve respect. If someone doesn’t like stuffed animals, that’s not a person you want in your life anyway. You should never be ashamed of the cuddly creatures you keep in your bed. If you love stuffed animals, the person you are with should at least respect that, assuming they are not joining in your active love. The person you are with should never make you feel bad about what you like. This Reddit relationship advice will ensure you find someone with common interests who cares about you.