Student loans can really be a huge deal-breaker when it comes to relationships. In fact, having a lot of debt can be a major turnoff in the dating world. And I am one of the millions of college grads who are struggling with over $150K in student loans.
Which is why when I got into my latest long-term relationship, I finally understood the baggage that is student loans. That being said, at the beginning of my relationship, I was nervous to expose all my baggage, which is why I hid my student loans from my partner and here’s why.
Talking About Money Is Hard
When it comes to talking about difficult things, you typically wait until both partners are ready and willing to take on the other person’s baggage. In fact, I waited until I knew I was in love with this person before exposing my truth.
Although student loan debt is common, there were certain hints I laid out (even in the beginning) so my guy could get the hint that there was some massive debt in my history. Unfortunately, I also knew that my guy didn’t have any student loans at all. Which is why talking about this type of stuff with him made me feel weird and uncomfortable.
How To Bring Up The Conversation
I definitely didn’t handle the situation in the best way. I just sprung it up and that’s really because I didn’t fully understand exactly how much my student loans were going to affect my relationship.
In fact, I had no idea that deb could start being an issue for my romantic relationships. As soon as I expressed my biggest insecurity, I immediately felt unlovable because of the sheer size of the debt.
It Goes From My Debt To Our Debt
When it comes to long-term relationships, there are bound to be times when you discuss the future with one another.
In fact, while it can seem harsh to list student loans as a deal breaker, the points my guy had for being so taken aback about the number I owed was actually not wrong. When you get together with someone who has student loan debt- the debt can end up hurting both people in the relationship. My guy explained to me the difficulty of filing joint taxes and the inability to grow wealth together.
However, I am lucky enough to have a guy who is incredibly understanding and spoke to me about the next steps that I can take to ensure that I make moves towards paying down my loans and being in a better financial situation if and when I get married.
Taking Responsibility For My Student Loans Changed It All
It’s incredibly important that if you have student loans, you continue to be honest with your partner. Learn from my mistake and gauge the level of importance student loans are with your partner. If you can confidently and honestly explain to your significant other that you are doing everything you can to take control of your student loans, then really that’s all the other person can do.
Avoid stressing too much about sharing this kind of baggage with someone you love. Whatever it takes, do it. Do all the research to see which type of payment plan is best for you in your current situation.
Check to see if you can alter your payment plan to make things easier and better for you. Create a detailed plan to help you get out of debt and just make sure to stick to it. This is exactly how I handled my student loans once my eyes were opened to just how damaging they are to my overall financial health.