Having a roommate is a right of passage. It’s a necessity.
And, it’s something that almost everyone moving to the big city has to experience at least once in their lives.
In 2012, 43% of New York City residents lived with a roommate.
That’s a drastic increase from a decade prior. And, by 2020, the number of people living with roommates in cities across the world will increase by 7%.
More and more people are living with roommates. But, that doesn’t mean the experience is always the same.
Living with a roommate is a different experience for everybody.
Some people link up with close friends and college roommates. Others enter the city and move in with a stranger.
Some apartments are nests of friendship. Others are an amicable communal space.
And, some are downright hostile.
If you’re lucky, you and your roommate are the best of friends. Or, at the very least, you can stand each other.
But, not everyone is so lucky. And, sometimes living with someone really brings out the worst.
You can be best friends with someone, but after months of living together, that friendship fades. In its place are irritations and animosities and frustrations.
And, if you’re not careful, this can lead to a truly awful living space and a roommate breakup that’s even more exhausting than your last failed relationship.
It happens. People grow apart and living situations don’t work out.
Breaking up with a roommate — or several — can be a challenge. It can leave you exhausted and angry. But, it doesn’t have to spell the end.
In fact, like with any breakup, there’s a way to make it through a roommate breakup without letting it linger for weeks and even months.
If you’re breaking up with a roommate or trying to cope with a lost friendship, read these tips to keep your spirits up and your mind clear.
1. Practice Effective Communication
Whether you’re trying to get out of a roommate agreement, you’re recently broken up, or you’re somewhere in between, it’s important to communicate.
Communication is key. It’s important in business. But, it’s also important when it comes to your relationships.
You need to make sure you’re communicating effectively so that all parties are on the same page. It’s also important to communicate your feelings so all parties can take proper responsibility.
Whether you have a problem with budgets, cleaning habits, food, or more — you need to communicate with your roommates to ensure that once this living situation has run its course, you aren’t cursing each other’s name.
This is the best way to ensure a bad situation doesn’t get worse. But, sometimes, even you can’t control the outcome.
2. Try To Keep It Cordial
If things are headed south with your current roommate, then you need to do your best to stay positive and keep it cordial.
Starting fights, creating conflict, and fueling drama won’t do anyone any favors.
And, it might even make it more difficult for you to leave your lease, continue a friendship, and find apartments to rent in the future.
A good attitude can get you far. And, it can help you get through a rough breakup with your roommates because it helps you continue to see the glass half full even when it looks half empty.
3. Don’t Dwell
After you’ve washed your hands of your previous relationship, it can be hard to move on.
You want to talk about it. You want to cry. And, you want to yell. You might be angry and upset. You might even want to break things.
But, dwelling on the fighting and the drama can do you more harm than good.
Chronic stress — like the stress that comes from dwelling on bad experiences — can hurt your mental and physical health.
Dwelling on this bad experience will just hold you back and make it harder for you to find new roommates and make new friendships.
4. Make Time For Yourself And For Your Friends
Sometimes, you just need to get your mind off of things. The best way to do that? By sending more time on yourself and your friends.
Take some time for yourself. Get a massage. Drink a bottle of wine. Go for a run. Make sure you don’t mess up your routine too much. Instead, do what makes you happy.
Hanging out with friends can also boost your confidence and happiness levels. It will help you get your mind off of the fact that your previous roommate was a total brat. And, it can make it easier to take life by the horns going forward.
5. Stay Positive
It’s easy to say it, but you have to stay positive.
Just because you had one, or a few, roommates that made your life difficult doesn’t mean they all will. And, just because you had a hard time getting out of your lease, finding a new place, and making new friends doesn’t mean you’re doomed.
You have to stay positive. Be confident. Take charge.
Make sure that you don’t let this one lost friendship get you down.
There will always be more friends and happy experiences. It will just take time.
6. Talk About It — But Don’t Let It Take Over Your Life
Lastly, you can’t bottle it up. You can’t hope that things will get better and that stress will go away.
If you’re upset, talk to your friends, your partner, and your family.
You shouldn’t let it take over your life. But, you should feel comfortable talking about it.
It will make you feel better expressing your feelings. And, talking about it can make it easier for you to see the big picture.
Breaking up with roommates is hard. But, it doesn’t have to ruin your younger years. There’s still plenty of time to have fun, get drunk, dance, sing, and smile. No one can take that away from you.
And, following these steps will help you get over a failed roommate agreement.