Disclaimer: I am 100% NOT bashing those who do like Valentine’s Day. Frankly, life can get pretty messy (okay fine – shitty) sometimes and I think it’s important to soak up all the little happiness’s we can get. Wherever we can find them. If Valentine’s Day is that for you, by all means, embrace it.
However I just have never bought into the hype surrounding this seemingly arbitrary day. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not “anti-Valentine’s Day”, necessarily.
There absolutely is a small part of me that gets a tad giddy at seeing all the cutesy stuff hit the shelves and the vibrant reds and pinks paint the bleak landscape that is this dreary time of year.
I enjoy donning my Valentine’s Day themed jewelry for the month and having an excuse to eat out. And, let’s be real. Most of us (myself included) wouldn’t say “no” to a little Valentine’s themed hanky panky *wink, wink*.
Some part of me is a hopeless romantic … I just don’t find Valentine’s Day very romantic (like, almost at all). I mean, I’m just not seeing it. To me, it seems like a holiday fueled by consumerism and forced expectations rather than a day to celebrate “love”.
For example: in an article published in 2017 by ABC News, they reported that the National Retail Federation estimated that the spending on Valentines Day was expected to top out at $18.2 billion that year. And, the article never mentions the Valentine’s Day date expenses (this was only the gifts!) so they must not have even been included in that estimate!
Plus, the expectations associated with the day are a little unreasonable and just, not romantic.
I truly tried coming up with a positive spin on this odd holiday to pitch, but I couldn’t. If I’m being honest, I kind of think Valentine’s Day is just a bit – stupid.
Check out the 3 reasons why Valentine’s Day is overrated:
1. Because love shouldn’t only be celebrated one day a year
When I was first with my SO, I bought into the hype of this holiday of “love”. Mostly, because I was worried that I’d look ungrateful if I didn’t (my man went all out on Valentine’s Day when we first got together). Really, I was worried he’d think I didn’t love him as much as he loved me, and I was crazy about him. So, I went crazy and let this holiday mean something.
He’d go all out, and I would reciprocate the best I could (even though we all know this is a very slanted holiday – what do you even get a guy?!). I’d get the stuffed animals, the candies, the flowers, and the jewelry. One year he even wrote a “love message” in my yard in fake rose petals.
But, really all I wanted (and still want) was for him to wish me a “Happy Valentine’s Day” and maybe to take me out on a date to celebrate. And, even wanting that, I always wonder why. I mean, even last year when he was sick with food poisoning, we still tried to celebrate once he was better. But, why? I mean, why does this day have to be celebrated at all?
For me, I like to use Valentine’s Day as an excuse to eat out. But, I don’t like to force anything else because that seems to be a mockery of our love. We should be celebrating our love for each other every day. Not just when the calendar says we should.
2. Because it’s not romantic when you feel forced into it
Okay. Let’s be honest about it. Valentine’s Day is really just a “romance chore”. It’s not spontaneous and fueled with love. It’s fueled with obligation.
For some, maybe this is great. It’s like a sexy date always on the books. But, for others, it just seems like just a way to get pissed off at each other if you don’t meet each other’s expectations.
Can’t you just picture it? She gets mad because he bought her candy she doesn’t even like, and she was expecting roses because she’s on a fucking diet anyway. And, he is pissed that he put in so much effort and didn’t even get laid.
Seriously? What’s romantic about that?
It’s not romantic to get flowers on Valentine’s Day. It’s romantic to get flowers when he feels moved to get you flowers. Valentine’s Day sex isn’t romantic (unless it’s spontaneous), sex that you don’t feel obligated to have is romantic.
Seriously, let’s break the veil of bullshit surrounding this holiday. Do you know what happened to all my overdone Valentine’s Days? That guy I overdid it with and I ended up moving in together and we had a literal whole corner of a room filled with stupid little stuffed animals as reminders of how pointless Valentine’s Day gifts are.
3. Because it’s too crowded, too much pressure, and usually just a big let-down
I think if we’re all being honest about it, we could admit that Valentine’s Day is usually a bit of a let-down. You get all dressed up just to wait FOREVER in a crowded restaurant (full of other people who feel obligated to be there). Then you eat too much and are too bloated to have sex.
Sure, sometimes it works out and you get great gifts, enjoy the dining out, feel all giddy and in love. And, the night ends with a fantastic mutual orgasm. But, seriously? How often does that actually happen?
More often than not, Valentine’s Day is something that we build up so much in our head that the actual day can never compare. And eventually we become aware of this and the pressure can just be unbearable!
For example, for me, the gifts were a bit of an overkill and made me feel pressured to reciprocate. And, let’s be honest – Valentine’s Day gifts for men are way harder. A stuffed animal feels stupid, jewelry feels stupider, and anything practical doesn’t feel like it sets the right “mood”. My partner and I are in a mutual agreement that Valentine’s Day gifts are out for us. It was putting too much damn stress on me. (Yes, seriously).