Sex is a huge part of a relationship. At least for me it is. There’s nothing worse than falling hard for someone and then discovering that sex with him is awful. That can definitely be a deal breaker. The good news is, there are ways to address the situation without losing out on someone you really like. Here’s what to do when the sex is bad.
Teach Him What You Like
Sex doesn’t just come easy and everyone doesn’t like the same things. So, you must be open about what you like and don’t like. If he’s doing something you don’t like, stop him and show him what you do like.
Now, this may make some guys a little uncomfortable. For the guys that always like to be in control and don’t like to be wrong, you’ll have to do this in a way that doesn’t turn him off. Be sexy with it and just talk naturally to him. Remember not to belittle him. Then you’ll definitely be single.
Ask Him What He’s Into
Many times, guys are bad at sex when they’re trying too hard to please you. Sex should be natural, not forced. Instead of him trying to figure out what works for you, why don’t you try to get to know what works for him? Ask him what he’s into. What makes him cum? Try things his way instead of yours.
Yes, sex should be about pleasing both partners; but in some cases, you have to learn to follow before you can lead. By this, I mean that it’s OK to put aside your immediate desires to please your man because, in the end, it’ll be all about you.
See Also: How to Use the Phases of the Moon to Have the Best Sex of Your Life
If things still aren’t getting better in the bedroom, there’s nothing wrong with you taking some control. Try positions where you’re on top, so you can control the rhythm. Get him comfortable with you doing some work and eventually he’ll learn what you’re into.
Many guys are visual learners, so they have to sit back and observe. When you take control, he’ll see what turns you on. Be careful with this though. You don’t want to be too aggressive and scare him off. I’ve heard many stories about people running off after terrifying sex.
Bring Some Toys Into the Bedroom
This may sound cliche’, but what a man can’t do, a toy sure can! Maybe your partner is better with his hands than his penis (we hope not). But, if he is, stop by your local sex shop and pick out some things that you know will get you off. Also, get something that you haven’t tried before so you can experience something new.
When bringing this idea up to your partner, explain to him how important it is to keep the relationship spicy and new. There’s no problem with needing help in the bedroom. Just don’t throw the toys in his face and expect him to know what to do with them. Explain how each one works and what you like about them. If he turns down this idea, then you don’t want him anyway.
Ditch Him, Girl!
I know you don’t want to hear this, but you just might not be sexually compatible. Some couples just don’t click. If you’ve tried everything to improve the sex and nothing is working, then you have to decide what’s more important to you. Do you really care about him and are willing to deal with bad sex? Then, by all means, keep seeing him.
But, if sex is really important to you and he can’t deliver, then it’s time to ditch him. Sex is something you should look forward to not dread. Find someone who knows exactly what spot to hit to make your toes curl. It might take a while to find the perfect man, but it’s not impossible. Keep your sexual desires a priority and say ‘no’ to bad sex!