New York City has a population of around 8.827 million. According to Area Connect, out of the entire cities population, males make up 47.38% of that number. That’s a lot of guys. It’s also a lot of guys that are probably not the one, either.
Dating in New York City can be exhausting for just that reason. It’s a huge city, with people from all areas and backgrounds and likes and dislikes. Hypothetically you could go on a date every day with starkly contrasting people. But, of course, as New Yorkers we know that most people are just way too busy for that. And, it helps to narrow down to what you prefer in a suitable dating partner. Apart from dating apps that you can set age and other filters, it’s hard to know if you should be avoiding someone once you start communicating with them.
Sometimes it’s too late and you could have ignored all the signs that this person was incredibly wrong for you, like when you finally meet in person, or after you’ve slept with them.
So we’ve made a list of what we think are certain boys to avoid in the city.
The “Soft Boi”
These are the boys that still watch Woody Allen films. They love The Cure and The Smiths and think they’re really different because of that. Most likely found at a coffee shop reading a Jack Kerouac or Charles Bukowski book- but not actually reading, just posting about it on social media. While there’s nothing wrong with liking The Cure or The Smiths or being creative, this breed of boys tends to be just too much. For more examples, follow a personal favorite Instagram account that celebrates the “soft boi” @beam_me_up_softboi.
The “U Up?” Boy
Every girl, at some point in her life, will receive the gift that is the “u up?” text at 3 am. How nice is it for them to finally text back, days after your last text, at such a convenient time? If you get this text, know that chances are, this guy isn’t very serious about you. Unless of course, you have an understanding that this thing will only be light-hearted. Just be careful. You’re probably not the only person he sent that too and feelings usually get hurt in these situations.
The Secretive Boy
Why haven’t you met his friends? Why haven’t you been to his apartment yet? Why does he always take his phone with him to the bathroom or have it turned over? He could be in a relationship, or worse: Be married and have a family. It has happened before. If someone is being overly secretive there’s usually a reason behind it, and it isn’t that he thinks social media is “toxic”.
The “Lives At Home” Boy
While we understand that rent is expensive and finding the perfect roommates can be difficult, if this boy, or man, is still living at home in his mid-thirties AND enjoys it- this should be a red flag. If my parents lived in the city and I could eat my mum’s cooking and have my laundry done by her too, of course, I’d consider living at home. However, there comes a time when you need to be independent and if he isn’t at least looking or planning on moving out then you could end up being his next mum if you move in together. Plus, who wants to sleep over at their boyfriend’s parents house? It doesn’t sound too romantic.
The Creepy Boy
This can turn from weird to dangerous. If you feel like a boy is being overly creepy and borderline controlling/stalkerish cut all connection with him. Our intuition is to protect us after all and although you might feel as if you’re overreacting, you’re probably not. Not to mention that it’s safer to trust your instinct anyway. If the person becomes unbearable and scary to deal with, there are plenty of resources online. Make sure you inform the people around you about this situation.
