Girl, we’ve all been there…
You go on a date with the hottie you met at Soul Cycle, he buys you a drink or three, you flirt, flip your hair, and talk about your dreams and desires, showing him you’re a passionate woman. Then it ends with a sweet good-night romp…oh, so city!
It all seems to be on the track to be a beautiful romance, but don’t get your hopes up because New Yorkers don’t like to play by the dating rules.
NYgal knows the abnormal dating scene in NYC completely sucks ass and this is why…
It Has The Ultimate Hook-Up Culture
NYC has the ultimate hook-up culture, and yeah, taking Grant, Paul, Steven, and Evan for a ride all in one week can be fun, but what happens when you really start wanting to find that special someone to share your life with?
That’s when things get tough in the city.
NYC is full of cool dive bars and raunchy nightclubs that are swarming with people just trying to get a little action for the night. I mean, it’s insanely easy to have multiple hook-ups throughout the night by barhopping around the city.
However, none of these hook-ups stick because there are just way too many options and as humans, we’re always wanting the next best thing, so settling for some booty we’ve already tasted is just not the New York norm.
There is also the routine of going out, finding someone, and taking them home rather than going on a nice date at the Highline or Bowery Poetry. Your friends who are still high on living it up with every D in NYC will always drag you out for a good time, thus giving your V a good time, but remember, just for one night.
Everyone Is Obsessed With Their Careers
One of the biggest reasons people decide to move to NYC is because of the enormous career opportunities. No matter if you’re an accountant, an engineer, an architect, or an actor; NYC has surely got some prime opportunities for you.
So, it’s not a big shocker why people in NYC are completely and totally obsessed with their jobs; hello, it’s their reason for being here!
In NYC the average person works 49 hours a week, with the American average being 34 hours.
Now, this could either be because they are super passionate about their careers and looking to make a name for themselves or it could be simply to afford the crazy rent on their too-small studio apartment with no stove in the West Village; either way, we now know why as New Yorkers our job is our life and it’s all we can ever think about. Ever.
So, if everyone is so obsessed and focused on their careers, how can they possibly put enough energy toward finding romance and a chance at true love?
The answer: They can’t.
No One Has The Time
As we’ve already covered, as New Yorkers, we work so much- too much! So, how can we possibly find any time in our overbooked schedules to drown ourselves in the horrid NYC dating scene?
Let’s say you’re like an absolute superhero of romance and are so completely dedicated to finding the love of your life that you manage (somehow-still a mystery) to clear your google calendar and open up your heart to all the assholes of NY. Hey, seems, like this might work…right?
Not so fast- because then you need to do more work in order to find someone else that’s just as willing to give you the same time; that time that you hope for and deserve. And, let me tell you, that is damn near impossible to find in this city.
All the busy bees swarming the hive of NYC have mismatched schedules and crazy absurd side-hustles (balloon artist, wine seller, soccer coach, etc.) that make it absolutely impossible to meet up for that drink you’ve been talking about for six months now since meeting each other serendipitously on the LES at 3 AM.
We All Have Egos
It’s no surprise that ALL New Yorkers have egos. Most likely, they’re probably doing something impressive career-wise, which New Yorkers are pretty notorious for or maybe they just have a really cool job like working for the Yankees, being an up-and-coming artist, or even just being Sarah Jessica Parker’s bikini waxer.
Career-oriented New Yorkers enjoy bragging about who they met at a launch party, or who they were brunching with last Sunday to discuss business endeavors. But, on a date…who wants to hear about that?
Now, with egos comes competition and we all know New Yorkers can fire up a situation to escalate to a one-upping fight in a matter of two seconds. While on a date you don’t want to be constantly trying to one-up your date; it’s exhausting and you’ll just end up annoyed and angry. You’ll leave, of course, thinking you’re still better than the other person, because that’s the stubborn NY mindset.
It’s also no surprise that with egos come superficiality. New Yorkers are known for having designer everything from shoes to bags to dog collars to motha’ fucking bagels. The more expensive the latte the better is the saying, right? But, it’s not just about money.
New Yorkers hustle and they work hard to have the best body, the best hair, the best eyebrows, and they expect their partners to look perfect, as well.
So, no matter if you’re a finance guy making bank on Wall Street, a hipster musician struggling to pay rent in Brooklyn, or you work in heels 13 hours a day in the fashion industry- you have an ego, and it’s for sure, hurting your dating game.
Long-Distance Is Actually A Thing
Ok, so the rationality of the New Yorker is simple…if you live in the Bronx and I live in Brooklyn- there is no way we are dating.
People in New York cut relationships with people because of the distance all the time; not just with lovers, but with friends too. New Yorkers use distance to determine how far the relationship is going to go; will it be a steady booty-call, a love potential, or a one-night stand?
This is because commuting in NYC is always a struggle; either you’re in an uber for an hour or more or you’re stuck underground on the delayed subway, avoiding eye contact with the subway car dancers and dealing with the man rubbing his junk in front of you, as you pray for the train to start moving again so you can jump off at 42nd St. just to switch train cars. Ugh, total nightmare.
Traveling is this city is so not ideal, so if a relationship is going to bring someone the stressor of having to travel more- they’ll surely avoid it.
Anyways, good luck NYgals…you’re sure going to need it.
Feature image credit: [Clutch Mag]