When a close friend is going through a tough time in their life, it can be challenging to know what to say or do to provide them comfort and support. It is critical that you be there for your friend at this challenging time; nevertheless, there are certain things that you should never say or do since they have the ability to make the circumstance even more difficult. The following are some things that you should never say to a friend who has just suffered a shattered heart:
“You’ll find someone better soon”
Even though it’s natural for you to want to give your friend hope, if you tell them that they’ll find someone better soon, it may come across as insensitive to the suffering they are experiencing at the moment. It is critical that you refrain from concentrating on your buddy meeting someone new and instead give them time and space to go through their feelings and grieve the termination of their prior relationship.
“Everything will work out for the best”
It is not your position to state that the split was for the better, even if you are of the opinion that it was. It’s possible that your friend doesn’t share the same sentiments, and if they hear this, it might make them feel as though they’re not allowed to be sad or that their feelings don’t matter.
“You really should have seen it coming”
It is not helpful to point the finger at your friend for the breakup or to imply that they might have done something to prevent it. It is critical to show your friend support and acknowledge their emotions rather than trying to make them feel guilty or embarrassed of themselves.
“I never cared for them in the first place”
It is critical that you keep your thoughts to yourself about the ex-partner of your friend, even if you have a negative opinion of that person. Your acquaintance may feel the need to defend themselves if you criticize their former partner, and it’s possible that doing so may make them miss the connection even more.
“You really need to just put this behind you and move on”
It is true that your buddy will need to move on from the split at some point in the future; nevertheless, telling them this right away might be overwhelming and make them feel as though you don’t care about their current suffering. It is critical to let your buddy work through their feelings at their own pace while at the same time providing support along the way.
“At the very least, you’re in a better position than such and such”
If you compare your friend’s circumstance to that of another person, it may give them the impression that their suffering isn’t significant or real. It is crucial not to compare your friend’s circumstances to those of others because everyone’s experiences are unique. Instead, concentrate on your friend’s circumstances.
“It’s time to get back out there and start dating again”
When you encourage your friend to start dating again too soon after the end of a relationship, it can be overwhelming for them and put pressure on them to move on before they are ready to do so. It is critical that you give your close friend the space they need to recover and work through their feelings before encouraging them to consider dating again.
“I completely understand how you are feeling”
Even though you may have been through a breakup in the past, it is essential to keep in mind that the circumstances surrounding each person’s previous split are unique. If you tell a friend that you understand exactly how they are feeling, it could give them the impression that their suffering is not special or significant. Instead, you should affirm their feelings and listen to them share their experiences.
“Just put them out of your mind”
It may be disrespectful to the effort and feelings that have been invested in the relationship to tell your friend to forget about their previous partner. While your friend is working through their emotions, it is important to acknowledge the significance of the relationship you share with them and offer support.
“Love will never find you again”
It may be detrimental to your friend’s mental health and sense of self-worth if you try to dissuade them from ever finding love in the future. Remind them that they are worthy of love and happiness and that you want them to take the time they need to heal. Instead, encourage them to take the time they need to heal.
“You ought to have approached this situation differently”
When you criticize a friend for the way they handled the relationship or the breakup, it might cause them to feel guilty and embarrassed of themselves. Instead, you should show support and understanding for the circumstances they are in right now.
In the grand scheme of things, the most essential thing you can do for a buddy whose heart has been shattered is to give support, understanding, and validation for the feelings that they are experiencing. Listen to their stories without passing judgment, and reassure them that they are not the only ones going through the suffering that they are. Your buddy will be able to recover from the heartbreak they have experienced and go on with their life if they are given enough time and support.