The article is developed in partnership with BetterHelp.
Going through a breakup can be one of the hardest experiences of life, bringing even the most resilient people to their knees. Not all breakups end on amicable terms, and some people even emerge from failed relationships with trust issues and trauma. Whether you’ve recently gotten out of a relationship or are still struggling to move past one from years ago, it’s important to take enough time to heal before trying to date again.
It’s natural to want to get back into the dating scene as soon as possible, but jumping back into dating before being ready can delay your healing process, have negative consequences for you and anyone you date, or cause you to settle for less than you want and deserve. Keep reading to explore some of the signs that may indicate you’re ready to start pursuing romantic relationships again.
Signs You’re Ready To Date Again
When it comes to dating, breakups, and healing, everyone progresses at a different pace. Some relationships may take longer to move past due to the experiences and time shared together, while others might have been short-lived without much emotional investment, allowing both people to go on with their lives relatively quickly. Approaching the dating scene with your specific circumstances and needs in mind is paramount. Here are some signs that may help you figure out whether you’re ready to date again or if you might need more time:
- You’ve healed from your past relationships. Coming into the dating scene with baggage from your past relationships can make it difficult to start something fresh with a new partner. While you can’t be expected to be 100% healed from the past, it is important that you’ve learned lessons from your previous relationships and grown from them. If you’re tempted to talk about your exes with all your new dates or are starting to depend on them every time you need to vent about your relationship trauma, it could be a sign that you need more time to process and work through your past.
- You know the right questions to ask. When you’re prepared to date again, you’ll know the most important questions to ask to potential partners, including those related to values, lifestyle, and long-term goals. Asking the right questions early on can help ensure that both individuals are on the same page in terms of expectations, boundaries, and future goals. Platforms like BetterHelp offer online therapy for couples at every stage of their relationship and could also be useful for individuals trying to decide whether they’re ready to start dating again.
- You know what you want out of dating. Although no one wants to go through a breakup, they do have a way of teaching us what we want out of our partner and life. Maybe you’ve realized that you want something more serious after getting hurt by casual flings, or perhaps you now understand that you need someone who shares your sense of adventure. Being confident in who you are and what you need from another person is a strong indication that you’re ready to start seeing new people.
- You feel optimistic about dating. When you’ve been through a tough breakup, it can be easy to become bitter about the dating scene. However, if you’re feeling excited to get out and meet new people and are only concerned with what the future holds, you could be ready to date again.
- You’ve experienced personal growth. Whether from difficult breakups or challenging life experiences, if you’re standing on your own two feet feeling self-assured and capable, it could signal that you’re of the right mindset to begin dating again. Healthy relationships often require a great deal of self-awareness as well as compromise and reflection. If you’ve grown from your past and taken heavy lessons to heart, it could set you up for success in future relationships.
- You’re okay on your own. Before dating again, ask yourself whether you want to see new people because you feel like you need another person to feel happy, or because you want to enjoy life with someone else. Relationships don’t always last forever, highlighting the importance of having friends, hobbies, and a whole separate life by yourself. The healthiest relationships form not because two people need each other to survive or find satisfaction, but because they complement one another and appreciate what they each bring to the partnership.
It may take you more time than you thought to feel ready to date again, or you might surprise yourself and heal faster than expected. Surrounding yourself with loved ones, focusing on self-care, and seeing a therapist can all be powerful ways to adjust to a new normal.
Embracing Your Unique Journey
Remember that everyone’s dating journey looks different, and there’s no need to rush yourself in the healing process. While you can probably come up with an endless number of reasons for not being ready to date again, it may be more helpful to focus on the signs that you are ready to re-enter the dating scene. Concentrating on your happiness, self-growth, and independence can help ensure that you feel content regardless of whether you’re seeing someone or not. There’s no exact science when it comes to dating, but that’s the beauty of it.
